Sex is a wonderful thing. A really great thing. It often single-handedly orchestrates human society – making people congregate, fight and earn money.
It’s important to every person in varying degrees. The people who go through life telling everyone that they don’t mind being consistently undersexed and alone are lying. It’s responsible for the highest earning industries, oldest known employment and the continuation of the human race.
People who can’t get it feel like there’s something wrong with them and people, who get too much of it… well, sometimes have something wrong with them.
And it often happens on a first date.
- See What I Mean? Only Hot People Could Get Away With This Shit.
In my experience, this is unfortunately the end of any potential for a continuing relationship.
This is how it goes, using internet dating (another damaging factor) as the example:
You’ve been chatting online to someone you met on an internet dating website and you decide it’s time to meet them. You turn up. The guy’s not Brad Pitt, but he’s not that bad. You have an enjoyable evening albeit with the odd awkward silence, a fair few drinks and things are going well. The alcohol and the conversation are moving your first impression – maybe this is going to work out.
He seems interested in you and the things you’re saying. He’s actively engaged and you’re getting that little flutter of hope in your stomach that he’s as impressed as you are.
Apparently he is, because you come to the mutual agreement to polish off a bottle of wine at your place to escape the every increasing din of the crowded bar.
You arrive, get comfy, and after a few more glasses – he clumsily launches himself at you. You’re surprised, though willing – the deed is done.
It wasn’t, horrible – but it wasn’t all that great either. As you both gradually sobered up throughout the process things seemed to get a little more disjointed and distracted until it reaches its end and you both lay with eyes closed pretending to be asleep, holding clammy hands.
You awake early and try to find something in close proximity to cover your nakedness so you can make a run for the morning wee. When you return, he’s up, dressed, ready and avoiding eye contact as he stumbles out some excuse for not staying. You offer him shower, food and drink and he declines – busy day ahead. You farewell with an awkward almost-on-the-mouth-but-not-quite kiss and he’s gone.
Since you hosted the event, you give him the courtesy of making the next move but you never hear from him again.
Familiar? Maybe not. However, I constantly get my freak self in this situation. I’ll tell you why.
As previously stated, sex is a wonderful thing – but there’s a very good reason you should only do it with people you know and know well.
Everyone has a different insecurity with their body. Some have massive insecurities. Luckily, most of these can be obscured with clothes and makeup so you don’t have to go through day to day life naked and in tears.
When you have sex you completely lay it all out. Not only are you unclothed with all your naked insecurities shining bright – you’re showing them to a complete stranger. Ok, not complete stranger – you had like a whole hour long conversation!!!
(That doesn’t count)
On top of all this you’re in one of the most vulnerable states of your entire adult existence. People tend to ‘lose themselves’ in the moment during sex and who knows what that looks like? Well this guy does now. If someone took a photo of your face at the moment of orgasm and showed it to you, I doubt you’d be entirely impressed – let’s just say it’s not the new facebook profile picture.
Plus, usually – the more you get to know someone, the more physically attractive they’ll become. You’ve known this person for a few hours, I doubt you’ve really reached your full potential on the attractiveness scale – and you’ve just shown him your least attractive state.
Don’t only take into account that his perception of you has just gone to the shitter on some kind of emotional rollercoaster to hell – but he just did the same to you. If the relationship survives this, you’ve got it made.
I imagine with extremely toned attractive people, this problem wouldn’t pop up quite so often. But what am I saying? They wouldn’t be online dating! They’d be frolicking along the golden paths of hot sex as most single hot people seem to do.
Well I’m glad that’s settled then.